Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Internal Struggle

I am struggling today. There's this tug-of-war going on inside of me where part of me wants to wallow in my self-pity, the other part of me is trying to see everything through the "glass half full" perspective.

Sunday, we said goodbye to daddy for his work-week away, knowing we'd see him Thursday night when he got home. Monday we found out that once he got to work, it had been decided that he is needed through the weekend and through the following week. It would have been nice to know before he left that we wouldn't be seeing him for 12 days instead of 4, especially since he only packed for a 4-day work day. So, here I am wanting to wallow in my own self-pity making things even more miserable for everyone. 

I know I have two choices: I can be selfish and choose the easy way and nurse my wallowing, or I can step it up and choose to be thankful. I can be thankful that my husband has a job. I can be thankful that I can stay home with the kids. I can be thankful that we have food to eat, warm beds to sleep in, and that everyone is healthy. It's easier to stay positive when you start thinking about the things your thankful for.

Also what is helpful for me is thinking about verses such as: 

"You say, 'I am allowed to do anything,' but not everything is good for you. You say, 'I am allowed to do anything,' but not everything is beneficial."
                                                                                                                                1 Corinthians 10:23

"So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."
                                                                                                                                2 Corinthians 4:18

"Be thankful in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."
                                                                                                                              1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His Name."
                                                                                                                                 Psalm 100:4

"Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts."
                                                                                                                                Colossians 3:16

Don't get me wrong, I sure like to focus on the hard moments in life, but it's definitely not good for me or beneficial to those around me, especially my kids. They need to see that even when life is hard, I have a stronger anchor through Jesus. I will probably continue this struggle throughout my life-time, but knowing that choosing to focus on the One who is my Anchor will keep me looking up through the storms.