You Know You're a Mom When...

You know you're a mom when all you can find to write down important information is a crayon.

You know you're a mom when you walk out the door unfazed that you have spit-up on your shoulder and boogers smeared on your pant legs.

You know you're a mom when your keen sense of smell detects that your child has pooped in the other room

You know you're a mom when you can recite in correct time and order the order of PBS Kids shows

You know you're a mom when you're in the store and realize you forgot to change out of your slippers

You know you're a mom when your child hands you a booger and you calmly walk over to the garbage to throw it away and then proceed to do what you were doing before

You know you're a mom when you're sick and still have to do the laundry, change diapers, do the dishes and make dinner

You know you're a mom when you can't remember the last time you were able to sleep through the whole night without having a child wake you up or you yourself needing to wake up to go to the bathroom

You know you're a mom when sleeping in means being excited that you were able to stay in bed until 7am

You know you're a mom when you can remember the first moment your child did NOT throw up on you

You know you're a mom when privacy goes out the window and peeing and pooping and showers are shared by the family

You know you're a mom when you know when a dance party is necessary

You know you're a mom when the moment the precious bundle was placed on your chest your heart was filled with an intense love you've never experienced before

You know you're a mom when you can see past the fighting and arguing and still love your kids as much as the day they were born

You know you're a mom when the little things your kids do melt your heart

Remember to love much, laugh lots, and be goofy

Internal Struggle

I am struggling today. There's this tug-of-war going on inside of me where part of me wants to wallow in my self-pity, the other part of me is trying to see everything through the "glass half full" perspective.

Sunday, we said goodbye to daddy for his work-week away, knowing we'd see him Thursday night when he got home. Monday we found out that once he got to work, it had been decided that he is needed through the weekend and through the following week. It would have been nice to know before he left that we wouldn't be seeing him for 12 days instead of 4, especially since he only packed for a 4-day work day. So, here I am wanting to wallow in my own self-pity making things even more miserable for everyone. 

I know I have two choices: I can be selfish and choose the easy way and nurse my wallowing, or I can step it up and choose to be thankful. I can be thankful that my husband has a job. I can be thankful that I can stay home with the kids. I can be thankful that we have food to eat, warm beds to sleep in, and that everyone is healthy. It's easier to stay positive when you start thinking about the things your thankful for.

Also what is helpful for me is thinking about verses such as: 

"You say, 'I am allowed to do anything,' but not everything is good for you. You say, 'I am allowed to do anything,' but not everything is beneficial."

                                                                                                                                1 Corinthians 10:23

"So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

                                                                                                                                2 Corinthians 4:18

"Be thankful in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

                                                                                                                              1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His Name."

                                                                                                                                 Psalm 100:4

"Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts."

                                                                                                                                Colossians 3:16

Don't get me wrong, I sure like to focus on the hard moments in life, but it's definitely not good for me or beneficial to those around me, especially my kids. They need to see that even when life is hard, I have a stronger anchor through Jesus. I will probably continue this struggle throughout my life-time, but knowing that choosing to focus on the One who is my Anchor will keep me looking up through the storms. 

Strawberry Shortcake Cake

My two-year-old has been begging for a Strawberry Shortcake cake for her birthday for the last 2 months. I already decided I was going to try making my own fondant and use it to decorate a cake. After much searching, deciding, changing my mind, and then searching again, I found the perfect cake to make. I started with finding a fondant recipe. I have heard from many people that the store-bought fondant tastes terrible. I wanted to cover the whole cake in it, so I definitely didn't want horrible tasting fondant all over it.

I went to allrecipes.com and found a recipe for marshmallow fondant. After reading many of the reviews, I decided I would try using marshmallow fluff instead of following the directions for melting down the marshmallows. I took 2 cans of marshmallow fluff and stuck them in the refrigerator over night. I'm not sure why, but that's what the reviewer said to do. The next morning, I took them out and emptied them into my mixer. I continued to add powder sugar into the fluff until I thought it seemed like a good consistency. I have never made or used fondant, so I had no idea what the right consistency was supposed to be. Apparently, it's done when it is not sticky anymore. I ended up kneading it with my hands quite a bit, adding more and more powdered sugar. I probably used a whole 32oz bag of powdered sugar by the time I was done.

Next, I divided the fondant into different sized balls, estimating how much of each color I would need. I then proceeded to knead in the pink, red, green and yellow into the different balls, adding more powdered sugar as the coloring created stickier fondant.

I wrapped the balls in plastic wrap and put them in the freezer until I was ready to use them.

For the cake, I took 2 cake mixes, followed the directions on the box, and then poured them into four 9x9 round baking pans and baked them. While they were cooling, I took a whole container of Cool Whip and mixed in a small container of cut up fresh strawberries. After the cake was cooled, I cut out part of the top of each cake, scooped the Cool Whip mixture into the cake and layered the cake, making a 4 layered cake. Then I wrapped the cake in plastic wrap and put it into the freezer until it was completely frozen.

Next, I took a can of buttercream frosting and frosted the cake. I have read that this will help the fondant stick to the cake. Then I put the cake back in the freezer for when I was ready to tackle the fondant.

After letting the fondant thaw a bit, I realized I needed to mix in more powdered sugar, because it had become sticky again. I took the pink fondant and rolled it out using my wooden roller adding lots of powdered sugar, since it kept sticking to the roller. I rolled it out as much as I could and then placed it over the cake. Unfortunately, it was not large enough to go over the whole cake, so I improvised. I cut off some, so that it draped over the cake nicely. Next, I took the green fondant, rolled it out and wrapped it around the bottom of the cake.

I still had powdered sugar all over the fondant, so, after googling what to do, I grabbed my vegetable oil and paper towel, and proceeded to dab away the powdered sugar from the fondant. It worked very well. As for taste...well, I guess we'll find that out at the party :).

Now, I had a problem. I had the whole middle of the cake to figure out what to do about. I had a little bit of buttercream frosting left from a different jar, so I took that, mixed it with a lighter green color. After that, I took the red fondant and made little strawberries out of it. Using the green fondant again, I cut out small daisy-like flowers to use for the leafing on the strawberries. Next, I placed the strawberries as evenly around the cake as I could. I filled in the rest with the green buttercream frosting I had.

Thankfully I had just enough buttercream frosting. I did not want to have to go to the store again! I used the white fondant for the lettering on top of the cake and threw away the yellow.

I'm not sure if I will use fondant again. It wasn't the easiest or cleanest stuff to use, but I was determined to make it work. I am pretty happy with the end result, and I'm hoping it will taste good.

Extraordinary

This evening I was praying that God would speak to me. I feel like there's been this lingering silence and I was needing God to say something to me. I'm not sure if I've ever felt this desperate to want to hear God speak to me before. I've had this nagging tug on my heart the last few days and the tug has just gotten stronger and stronger.

As I prayed, I prayed for God to show me something...anything. I don't know if it's normal to get desperate for some sort of sign from God that you're on the right track when you feel like He's given you a vision to do something, but man, I feel like that a lot these days.

These last few days I feel like God has shown me an area of my life that I need to surrender to Him...more. It's a really ugly part of me that I like to keep hidden away. Unfortunately, like anything else I've tried to hide, God saw it. It came out rearing its ugly head a few times this last week, surprising me. I felt defeated, insignificant, and ashamed the times it happened. It completely ruined my weekend, because I felt so unready to serve God in any area of my life.

This evening after praying, I opened up my Bible to Isaiah. I read in chapter 1 verse 17 God's calling for Israel:

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows."

That first sentence caught my eye. "Learn to do good." I asked God, "how am I supposed to learn to do good when I'm so messed up? How am I supposed to learn to do good when I feel so ashamed at my badness?"

I continued to read and I got to chapter 6. I absolutely love Isaiah chapter 6. As I read Isaiah crying out to God saying he was a sinful man, I felt this overwhelming peace wash over me. Isaiah was so scared because he saw God and knew he was going to die because he was a sinner. Verse 7 says:

"He touched my lips with it and said, 'See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven.'"

Right after that you read that the Lord asks who will go be the messenger to the Israelites and with no hesitation Isaiah says:

"Here I am. Send me." Isaiah 6:8b

Ah! I need to be like Isaiah. He was overwhelmed with God's presence until God forgave him. As soon as God forgave him, he was ready for his calling.

It's really easy to allow our faults to hinder our growth. We believe that once we have made the decision to follow Christ, we must be perfect little Christians. I'm learning that there is no such thing as this perfect little Christian I have made up in my head. There is, however, someone God is transforming me into, that is if I allow Him to do the work He needs to do in my heart. When I turn my focus from Christ to my faults and failures, my growth is stunted until I re-focus my eyes back on Jesus.

I have written in my Bible along side Isaiah 6:5-9:

Isaiah was not a perfect man, yet he was willing to go where God sent him.

Am I willing to go where God sends me?

Do I want to be a stunted Christian or be the extraordinary child of God I have been called to be?

Am I going to continue to focus on my failures, or allow God to forgive me so we can move on with the growth?

Dear Lord, You have called each and every one of Your children to be extraordinary. You have called us to go wherever You send us and to focus our eyes on You. God, I need You to teach me to be good as I grow closer to You. May I not focus on my sin and guilt, but You, Lord, only You.

The Pause

This morning I was sitting in my kitchen reading my Bible and drinking coffee while the kids were watching Sponge Bob and getting ready for the day. It was a wonderful quiet time...at least the moments where I wasn't interfering between the fighting, turning another Sponge Bob episode on, filling up another sippy cup with juice, getting the toddler off the table, turning on another computer game, getting the toddler off the table, taking my almost three-year-old to the bathroom, breaking up another argument, getting the toddler off the table, turning on a shower...yep, I'm sure either you've been there, or you can picture it very vividly!

As I began to get frustrated, I was reminded of how Jesus was with the children. He specifically told the disciples to let the children come to Him (Luke 18:6). There's just something about a child that is so innocent, so care-free, so pure...it's delightful and refreshing. In that moment, I realized how truly blessed I am.

May I always remember to pause and really soak in the blessings around me. They may seem irritable in the moment, but looking back, there's always a lesson to be learned. It's up to me to decide whether I'm going to take that moment to really hear what God has to teach me, or just let it pass by and miss an important lesson.

Pokeball Cake

My son wanted a pokeball cake for his 8th birthday. So, like many other moms, I went online and got some ideas on how to do that. Here's what I came up with:

I started with 3 cake mixes and a glass bowl. After making one box of cake mix, I poured half of it into the glass bowl and baked it until it was done. It took about 45 minutes.

Next, as the first cake cooled, I poured the other half of the batter into the bowl and baked it until it was done. I allowed plenty of time for the halves to cool and then wrapped them in plastic wrap and put them in the freezer.

Now, my son does not like chocolate very much so, we got creative with the filling. I got some fresh strawberries and cut them up into small pieces until I had about a cup full. Next, I mixed them up with about a cup of cool whip. And there was my filling.

I cut out some of the inside of the bottom layer of the cake, because the cakes didn't quite sit together as nicely as I wanted them to. I would suggest doing this before freezing, since it was a bit difficult to cut through the frozen cake. But, I will do that next time, since this is the first time I've attempted to make a ball shaped cake.

After placing the filling inside the cake, I found I also needed to cut off part of the top of the other cake. So, I did.

As you can see, I had already started to decorate the bottom of the cake. I thought it might be best to start frosting the bottom layer before putting on the top layer. But, I'm sure it didn't really make a difference either way. I have found that microwaving the frosting for about 15 seconds before I put it in the decorating bags helps make it a whole lot easier to squeeze it out of the decorating bags.

The nice thing about making a pokeball, is that you only need 3 colors. So, after mixing the red and black, here is how I continued on with the cake.

I think I've said this before...but frosting is a wonderful thing. You can cover up so many mistakes with it, it's amazing! So, after I added the red, I still had a gap between the white and red. I filled it in with more white, and it helped it look much better. Here is how I finished off the top:

After it was done, I still thought it need something else, so I finished off the cake with adding a black ring of frosting around the middle of the cake.

As for the other 2 cake mixes, I made little pokeball cupcakes. 30 went to my son's class, the rest were for the party. Now, I don't have a special cake plate, so what I've been doing is taking a cookie sheet, flipping it over and covering it in tin foil. It makes for a workable "cake plate". Here is the finishing look:

Kumbaya Syndrome

I am happiest when everyone around me is happy and getting along. If people are having relational issues, I like to try to fix them so that they are happy again. I have this inner urgency to make sure everyone around me is doing ok. I want to fix people's problems and make sure everyone is genuinely happy. It's like I have some kind of Kumbaya Syndrome where if everyone is happy around the campfire singing I am in my element.

I'm coming to the point where I'm realizing that I cannot fix everything. God is showing me that I have absolutely no control over other people's state of mind. No matter how hard I try to force happiness and joy around me, I cannot fix other people's problems. I can be there for people, pray for them and love them, but I cannot fix them. This drives me crazy.

No, I don't want to be God, but I sure like to help Him do His job. Maybe this is a pride issue, maybe it's a control issue or maybe it's a little bit of both. I'm not real sure yet. Either way though, I can choose to try to take over the work He's doing or I can choose to step back and pray and let Him do the fixing His way and in His timing.

I sure have a lot to learn. Thankfully, God is not done with me until by body dies. May I live this life focused on Jesus and the things He has to offer and teach me. My prayer is that I would be a woman of prayer, trusting that God will bring eternal peace and reconciliation to those who love Him in His own timing. 

John 12:27

While reading John 12 this morning I was struck by verse 27. After Palm Sunday, Jesus was hanging out with His disciples talking about His coming death. John 12:27 gives us some raw insight into what was going on in the mind of Jesus:

"Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, 'Father, save me from this hour'? But this is the very reason I came! Father; bring glory to your name."


You see, Jesus knew why He came to this earth. He knew His purpose, and that was to suffer the most gruesome and humiliating death in history in order to conquer not only death, but to clear a path for sinners to have a relationship with God; by taking the sins of the world and allowing God to place them on His shoulders. Whew! What a purpose! What a marvelous, risky and sacrificial purpose!

You see, Jesus was "deeply troubled". He knew that He was going to be betrayed, humiliated, flogged, nailed to a cross, and murdered. I wonder if it wasn't so much that He knew He was going to go through all of this pain and torture, but more that people would still refuse to believe Him.

Seeing Jesus's response to His inner turmoil gives me perspective on how I need to live my life. After sharing His struggles, He says, "Father; bring glory to Your Name." What an attitude to imitate when I'm going through my day-to-day hardships and struggles! May my attitude be like Christ. When I struggle or am going through hardships, may my thoughts be, "Father; bring glory to Your Name." When I'm hurt or angry, may my cry be, "Father; bring glory to Your Name." When I'm happy and when things seem to be going my way, may my heart sing and rejoice, "Father; bring glory to Your Name!"

"Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, 'Father, save me from this hour'? But this is the very reason I came! Father; bring glory to your name." John 12:27

Belle Barbie Cake

For my daughter's 6th birthday she wanted a Belle Barbie cake. My mom let me borrow her princess cake mold so I went ahead and prepared the dress following the directions on the box. Once the cake was cooled, I froze the cake.

Next, I found a picture of Belle online so I could see what her dress actually looked like. I used the Wilton white frosting and colored it with lemon yellow Wilton coloring and frosted the whole dress with a spatula.

I then took the lemon yellow frosting and used my Wilton tip #103 to loop the frosting around the dress. After 3 layers, I added a pink loop using Wilton tip #102. Once I got to the top, I added the Barbie head. I made the bow pink to add some more color to Belle.

Here was the end result:

A Bumble Bee Cake

I made a bumble bee cake for my daughter's 1st birthday. After looking around on the internet for ideas, This is what I came up with:

I found a Wilton butterfly cake mold and made the cake using a vanilla cake mix. Next, I took packaged sugar cookie dough and made cookies for the face and for the feet. I took a heart shaped cookie mold and cut the cookie with it. Then, I cut the heart in half creating the feet then I baked the cookies.

After I froze the cake overnight, I colored the Wilton frosting with golden yellow, black, blue, and green. Next, I used a spatula to frost the sides of the cake blue and the top of the cake with just the plain white Wilton frosting. I placed one sugar cookie on the upper side of the cake to make the face and then frosted it with the golden yellow frosting.

Next, I added the layers of black and golden yellow. For the feet, I broke a sugar cookie in half, trying to create feet and frosted them black. For the antennae, I took 2 marshmallows, colored the tops black, then attached them to the cake with 2 birthday candles.

Finally, I took the green frosting and outlined the bottom of the cake to give it a more finished look.


As for the bumble bee sugar molds, I found them at a local cake store. 

A Pokemon Tyranitar Cake

My son LOVES Pokemon. So, for his 7th birthday he wanted a Tyranitar Pokemon cake.

I began with two round vanilla cakes. I spread chocolate frosting in between the two cakes to make them stick, froze the cake, then I frosted both cakes with the Wilton white frosting.

Next, I took a picture of Tyranitar, printed it off the computer, and then placed it on top of the cake. I took pins and poked holes all around the picture so that I could trace it with frosting. This part was tricky, because once I lifted the sheet of paper, it looked like the attack of the holes had invaded the top of the cake. After making out the main lines of Tyranitar, I finally got an idea of what the dinosaur would look like once it was finished.

Next, I mixed the frosting colors I wanted using the Wilton frosting colors. I used the same tip for all of the colors. Looking back, I wish I had used different tips, but overall, I was happy with the end result.

A Sponge Bob Cake

My daughter is a huge Sponge Bob fan. So, for her 2nd birthday, I chose to do a Sponge Bob cake.

I made one vanilla sheet cake (9x11) and sprayed the glass pan extra well so I would be able to get the cake out. I began the frosting by frosting the whole cake with white Wilton frosting. Next, I found a picture of Sponge Bob I could copy. I mixed the frosting colors first and then made the outline of Sponge Bob's body in black.

I picked my own frosting tips and experimented on the different colors. Here is how it turned out:

Monkey Head Cake

After talking to my husband, I thought it might be fun to post pictures of the cakes I've made for the kids to give people ideas of things they can do for cakes. I'm always looking around for new ideas, so I'm sure there are other moms out there who probably find themselves in the same boat. So, here we go.

This first cake I made back in January for our son's first birthday. I looked around online, and found this idea of a monkey head. I made four round white cakes. I put one on top of the other to make the head. In the middle I put chocolate frosting...mostly because I love chocolate and my 1-year-old is still too young to choose his cake :).

Then, I put the other two cakes on top of each other with chocolate frosting in the middle, and cut out the ears.  I used what was left of the cake to make the baby's smash cake. Thankfully frosting is incredibly forgiving, because I sure didn't think the cake looked like much when I first started. Lastly, I froze the cake to make it easier to frost later.

I began with the banana cake. I figured it would be the easiest. So, I used the white Wilton frosting and colored it lemon yellow. I spread it over the whole banana with a spatula. Next, I used the chocolate Wilton flavored frosting and dotted both sides of the banana to finish it off.

After the banana was done, I set it aside and began with the monkey head. I took some white Wilton frosting and used the Wilton copper coloring to make the skin tone. I spread it with a spatula on the areas that I wanted to have flesh on the monkey.

Finally, I took the chocolate Wilton flavored frosting and made the hair with the Wilton tip #233.

Lastly, I wrote our son's name and "Happy Birthday" with one of the fine tipped Wilton tips using the same chocolate flavored Wilton frosting.

Poo

Things are never what you'd expect when it comes to parenting. I learned very quickly that the best way to go about being a parent is to have no expectations whatsoever...and if you're the type of person who cannot live life without expectations, then make them as low as you can.

I have found this to be all the more true as I have attempted to potty train my third child many different times this last year. I was told by a few other moms that for them, their third child was the easiest child to potty train. Part of it seemed like it was because they had older siblings they wanted to be like and the other part was partly because the older siblings were the ones to potty train them. This got me excited. I'd had a fairly easy time potty training my older two, so knowing that number three would be a breeze, I was all for that!

Right after our daughter turned 2 she was completely potty trained for about 2 weeks. By completely potty trained, I mean that she was wearing panties all day and pooing and peeing in the potty. After about 2 weeks, she decided she was too busy to go in the potty, so after going through too many panties to count, instead of fighting the issue we went back to full-time diapers. I knew she was still pretty young, so I gave up. It probably was not the best thing for me to do, but I knew we were going to be moving across the country pretty soon, so I didn't want to have to be fighting the issue during that time. After we moved I decided to try again. She was and has been completely potty trained with the peeing part since, but because she refuses to poo in the potty, I have resorted to diapers again. I would rather clean a poopie diaper'd butt than a poopie pantie'd butt.

All of my expectations of having my third child easily potty trained have been completely bashed to pieces. I'm going to wait until she forces the issue. As for now, I have more poo stories than I care to share.

Happy Thoughts

My 7-year-old was having a major attitude problem yesterday. Seriously, I thought attitudes didn't start until the teenage years, boy was I WRONG! We're sitting in the car and he's moping in the back with a big huge frown on his face and his arms crossed around his chest. So, what does mom do in this situation? Normally I would just ignore him and wait for him to come around. Yesterday I'd had it. I look back at him and say, "Peyton, I want you to tell me 5 things you're thankful for." The puzzled look on his face was priceless, I'm pretty sure I caught him completely off-guard. After a moment, he mumbles, "no." So, then I say, "Well, then you can't leave the car until I've heard 5 things you're thankful for." 


Eventually I got to hear the 5 things he was thankful for. They were simple, but it worked. After, I said I wanted to see his big wonderful smile then I gave him one of my goofy smiles. It was SO funny watching him try not to laugh. Then he was back to his normal fun-loving wonderful self.


You see, I've found it's hard to feel sorry for myself when I start making lists of things I'm thankful for. It's hard to be mad at someone when I'm not focused on the ways I feel someone has wronged me. Focusing my thoughts on things I'm thankful for rather than the negative things going on around me, is a practice I want to continue as I grow in my relationship with Christ.


"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8

Being Jesus

How different would this world be if Christian brothers and sisters would just get along?
How different would life be if we would just set aside our pride for a moment and look each other in the eyes and say, "I forgive you."

Pride has snaked its way into our lives
Pride's fangs have sunk deep into our souls

Oh God forgive us!

We are supposed to be the light to the world
We are supposed to be the salt of the earth
How is that possible if our lives are no different than anyone else?

How different would this world be if Christians would lay down their pride
And truly be like Christ?

Humble and forgiving
Laying our lives down for each other
Loving servants
Being Jesus in this very dark world.

If When I Die

If when I die all people can say about me is, "she loved Jesus", then I have accomplished my mission here on earth.

If when I die and no one remembers my name, but remembers Jesus, then I have lived well.

If when I die I have not a penny to my name, but have pointed everyone I met to Jesus, then I have accomplished my purpose.

My worth is not found in money or things, it's not found in people or places I've been. I find my worth through the blood of Jesus.

My hope is not in things of today, tomorrow or yesterday, nor does my hope rest in the comforts this world has to offer, it's Jesus.

If when I die and the only thing left behind is the handprint of God, then and only then I have truly lived.

The Mom Thing

When I was in 8th grade I made the mistake of going out for track and field. I thought I might be good since both of my sisters were decent. I was wrong. I can remember the exact moment I realized how terrible I really was, and I even have a picture of that exact moment taken by one of my friend's dads, which I think I glanced at once and put it away to never be seen again!

I was all lined up for my first ever 100 meter race. I heard the gun go off and before I even took my first step  off the blocks I felt this WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH. I look up and I see the backs of every single one of my competition already half way to the finish line. Talk about a horrible and embarrassing moment. I did finish the race, but it was during that race that I realized that I was NOT built for track and field.

During that time of my life, I had a friend who told me that with every step she took in her races she would recite, "Jesus Christ will give me strength, Jesus Christ will give me strength" and that's how she would race. I thought that was a pretty great idea, so that's how I finished my one miserable season in track and field.

As a mom, there have been many times where I have felt like I am not cut out to do this whole mom thing. I don't have it all together. I tend to loose my temper more often than I'd like, my house is not the cleanest on the block, nor do my kids always have their hair combed or their teeth brushed. Sometimes I'll get to the store and realize I forgot someone's shoes or my wallet. I have been one of those moms who have grocery shopped with a screaming child in the cart. It's the times I begin to count all the ways that I'm "not good enough" that those words flood into my very soul and lift me up. I may not feel "good enough" sometimes, but God has entrusted me with 4 precious children whom I love more than anything in the world. He knew what He was doing when He gave them to me, and in that I can find peace and trust that God knows what He is doing. 


"Jesus Christ will give me strength. Jesus Christ will give me strength. Jesus Christ will give me strength."

To All You Single Parents

I want to give a shout out to all you single parents out there. You who get your kids dressed, fed, transported, taught, disciplined, and loved all by yourself. You who change the diapers, clean up the throw up, change the clothes, and pick up the toys all by yourself. You who keep up the house, break up the fights, keep the bills organized, and tuck the kids into bed all by yourself. You who wipe away those tears, cuddle, tickle, and bathe your kids all by yourself. I have a HUGE appreciation and respect for you. You are amazing. Your kids are so blessed to have such a hard working and loving parent in their lives. May God give you the strength to persevere. You are AMAZING!

Please Don't Judge

Please don't judge me for allowing my 2-year old to throw a temper tantrum right in the middle of the store. Please don't glare at me while I carry her out kicking and screaming to the car. What you see is not the whole story. You see, yes she is 2, but she has also had a whole lot of things going on around her that you don't know about.

You see the kicking and screaming, but what you don't know is that we just moved across the country a week ago. She has also been getting over a bad cold and hasn't been sleeping very well the last few nights, and her dad has been out of town this week. What you see is not the whole story. You see a 2-year old kicking and screaming, yelling and bawling, ruining your trip to the grocery store. You see a horrible mom allowing her child to act out THAT way.

What I know is that my beautiful daughter is tired and hurting and doesn't have the ability to express how she's feeling in an adult way. What I also know is that I love my daughter very very much. So, please have some grace today and stop glaring and judging, pointing and shaking your head. Say a little prayer for me, for I really am trying to do my best. 

The Calling of Every Believer

This morning I ready Proverbs 31. As I came across verses 8 & 9, I stopped. I read those verses over and over again and they've been with me all day:

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

You see, my husband and I have been praying diligently and preparing ourselves for our move back home. Our desire to open up a shelter for victims of human trafficking has been growing steadily and we have never been more excited. We know it's going to be really really tough. We are not looking for fame or money or human recognition. We really believe that this is what we are supposed to do. We believe that it is EVERY believer's calling.

We must speak up for those who do not have a voice. Yes, it's easier to turn a blind eye and ignore the human trafficking epidemic around us, but that is NOT what we as Christian brothers and sisters are called to do. We have a responsibility and a duty to speak out against the horrific slavery that is around us.

We are just beginning to scratch the surface. Look around you. Everywhere you drive, everywhere you walk it's there. We are so used to seeing the advertisements and wording, that we've grown immune to it. Those are PEOPLE. Those are mothers, daughters, dads and sons. All of them being used and disposed of like they're worthless garbage.

They are crying out for someone to save them. They are crying out for anyone to help them. They are hoping that YOU will see them and HELP them. Why can't we see that? Why am I so engrossed in my own worthless problems that I can't look around for one minute and see them for who they really are? They are human beings just like me, but they are not free. They are enslaved by society,  slave-masters and pimps. They have been beaten, tortured, raped, drugged, abused. It's so easy to turn a blind eye. It's easier to pretend it's not there. What a shame. Shame on us. Shame on me.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. Proverbs 31: 8&9

Things I never thought I would ever say

Kids and their bodies. That's all I have to say. They are curious little ones, always wondering about how things work. Recently, I began making a list of things I have said to my children. Things I never in a million years imagined I would ever need to say to anyone. I'm becoming more and more convinced that God allows us to go through parenting not only to keep us humble and to grow us, but to remind us that we cannot do it without Him.

"Go back upstairs and pick up the booger you wiped on the carpet and throw it away."

"Stop sticking your fingers in the light socket."

"Bugs belong outside, not in the house. Don't bring that bug in the house."

"We use shoes to kill bugs, not the brush."

"Where's your diaper? Not this new one you used to pick up your brother's poo, the original one he pooped in.

"Please keep your diaper on after you poop."

"Don't sit down! You'll squish your poo!"

"Don't try to dump your poo into the toilet from your diaper."

"What is that all over you?!? Is that poo?!?"

(Why does it always have to be poo?!?)

"If you're going to pee in the grass, please take off your clothes next time."

"No, I am not going to open up your diaper again so you can see your poop. That's disgusting!"

Oh Lord, help us to see ourselves in our children and know that we need You more than anything. Give us wisdom in how we raise our children and patience as we respond to their different behaviors. Give us a sense of humor as we try to raise our kids to know the difference between right and wrong. Help us survive and praise You in all circumstances!

Bigger than a Mustard Seed

Why is it that the focus of faith seems to be taken from Matthew 17:20...and stop there?

"You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

That's where we stop. We "encourage" each other to have faith the size of one of the tinniest seeds on earth and say we can move mountains with it just because that's what Jesus said we should strive for. I believe that Jesus wanted so much MORE for His disciples than the smallest faith. I believe He desired them to have the faith of what that seed turned into...a full blown mustard tree!

Picture a small pearl inside of an oyster. It is beautiful and worth some money. You can pick it out of that oyster and keep it, or sell it for a sum of money. Or you can allow that oyster to continue to mold it and shape it, and make it bigger and even more beautiful and it will be worth more. That is a lot like how our faith is. God wants our faith to be the largest pearl ever known to man. He wants to shape us and grow us and use us to further His Kingdom. A lot of times we get impatient with God's timing and grab that small tiny pearl of our faith and call it good before that pearl is really ready. Unfortunately God is still in the process of molding and shaping our faith. Growing it and perfecting it. The only thing standing in His way of doing that is ourselves.

Think of all the work, pain and discomfort it takes for the oyster to create the pearl from that small irritating granular of sand. Following Jesus is definitely NOT the "easy" or most "comfortable" way of life, as far as this world-view is concerned. It definitely is the best way to live though. The oyster would probably be a lot happier without a big bulge under its tongue, but then you wouldn't have a beautiful and perfect pearl as the end result.

Learning to Trust

These last few days have been insane...even for a mother with four kids. They have been filled with a trip to the ER with my 2-year-old swelling beyond recognition (which we later found out it was because she was attacked by fire ants and is apparently highly allergic to them). We found out that both of our boys have ruptured ear drums and our 2-year-old has an infected toe...and nostril. (Oh boy, bring on the medical bills!!!.) On top of all of this, the kids have not been sleeping well, thus we have ended up with three of our four children in our bed...which does make it difficult to get any sleep what-so-ever. Plus, we gave our 90-day move out notice, so we are busy trying to sell off things, and things are kind-of up in the air with where my husband will be working next. So, as you can see, it has been easy to allow ourselves to be overwhelmed with what's going on around us.

In the midst of all this, though, there have been so many blessings! It can be so easy to get overwhelmed with the negatives that happen, that I can blind myself to the positive moments. There have been moments where we have been able to really feel God taking care of us. Kaitlyn was able to get right into the ER with absolutely no wait. The doctors and nurses were wonderful, and they took really good care of her. I was able to speak to one of my really good friends that I haven't spoken to in quite some time. We have been able to sell some things off that we didn't think we'd be able to so quickly. Even though the appointment was only for our oldest son, the doctor also saw two of our other kids which is when we found out all three of them needed to be on antibiotics. Peace, amazing feelings of peace that can only be from God.

It's those moments that I have been clinging to, knowing that He is taking care of us through it all. Even though it may feel like the world is crashing down around us, I am so thankful that God is bigger than it all. I can trust Him, knowing that all I see is what is right in front of me, while He sees EVERYTHING and is taking care of me, and my husband, and our children.

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Untitled

You are loved by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He made you in His perfect likeness. He loves you so much, that He died so that you can live with Him. Jesus loves you. God loves you. He wants a relationship with you. Just be who He made you to be...His child who needs Him. Seek Him with all of your heart and He will direct your path. Don't worry about tomorrow, for He has given you today. Rest in His presence. Let Him restore your tired soul. He will heal your heart as you cling to Him and confess your weaknesses to Him. When you are weak, He is strong. He will deliver you. Just rest in Him.

"Oh Israel, trust in the Lord." Psalm 115:9

The Importance of Forgiveness

Matthew 5:44 says: "But I say to you, love your enemies and bless the one who curses you, and do what is beautiful to the one who hates you, and pray over those who take you by force and persecute you." (Aramaic Bible)

Jesus knew that unless we are able to love our enemies and bless those that curse us (or hurt us, or wrong us...ect), we would never experience the freedom we have in Christ. And, what is more beautiful than actually PRAYING for those that we are hurt by, threatened by, are bitter toward, hate, despise, or just don't like? And, not just pray for them, but actually pray blessings on them? Praying for God to use them if they know God, or that they would find God and seek Him with all of their hearts if they don't?

What a different world this would be if Christians would actually do what Christ commanded and PRAY for their enemies! Oh God would You change our hearts to be like Yours! May we learn to pray for those who hurt us so we can be more like You.

It's amazing how much your heart for your enemies will change once you start praying for them. You begin to see them as imperfect human beings on their search for Meaning and Truth instead of who you think they should be.

Shelter

This morning I was reading in 2 Corinthians and when I got to verses 16-18, I was reminded of all the things Christ is, so I made a list to help remind me of Who He is:

Jesus You are my shelter
Jesus You calm the storm
Jesus You are my Refuge when I lay in the shadow of Your wings
Jesus You are my Light
Jesus You are the Truth
Jesus You are my Strength when I am weak
Jesus I need You, need You, more than anything
You are my Rock
You are my Deliverer
You are Forever with me.

I was encouraged, I hope and pray someone else out there is encouraged as well.

Lord, I pray these truths would stick with me today. It's so easy to forget all the things You've done for me. May someone be encouraged.

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look a the troubles we see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." 2 Corinthians 2:16-18 (NLT)

Acts

I've been reading in the book of Acts lately and the question that keeps coming to my mind as I read about all the miracles and lives that are completely turned upside down during the ministries of amazing people like Paul, Barnabas, Phillip, Stephen, and others is: How come that's not happening now? (Wow, that is a very long sentence!)

If we as Christ followers believed like the Christ followers in the book of Acts, think of how different our world would be. People would be coming to Christ right and left, people would be healed and risen from the dead all over the place! How amazing would that be to experience?

So, I guess I'm just struggling with what it all means to me. How do I get there? How do I become so in love with Jesus Christ that it seeps out of my every pore. How do I make my words be so drenched in the love and the knowledge of who Christ is that lives are eternally changed?

The only answer I've come up with so far is to pray for it. I'm not even close to being close to getting there, but I'm finding that by starting to pray for it, something is stirring within my very soul. I've never had such a thirst and hunger to read God's word before, nor have I ever had such a deep desire to spend my day in constant prayer. So I believe that that is a start. I'm not sure if I'll ever get there, but I know that Jesus wants us to become like Him, and He will make that happen as long as we allow Him to change us.

Jesus, take this heart, this mind, and soul. Take all of me and make it Yours. I am nothing and You are All. I need You, Father. Without You, there is nothing.

What I'm learning

I just wanted to share some things that I am learning as I research Human Trafficking. Just some food for thought.

Did you know that there are an estimated 800,000 people sex trafficked around the world? Did you also know that an estimated 18,000 are trafficked into the USA annually?
*www.freedomcenter.org

There are at least 100,000 underage American girls being sex trafficked in the US today.
*National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

Did you know that the average age that a child is forced into this horrible life of slavery is 12-14? Did you also know that of those prostitutes that have been questioned, 87% say they would leave prostitution if they could, 78% say they need a safe place or home, and 73% said they need job training?
*www.hookersforjesus.net

The life expectancy for these children who get forced into the sex trade is 7 years. 7 Years before they die of suicide, drug overdose or are killed off by their pimps.
*www.traffick911.com

The last thing I want to do is probably the easiest thing to do... just turn a blind eye and forget about those staggering numbers. I need to remind myself that those numbers are just an estimate by foundations who do the studies...more than likely there are many many more that go unaccounted for.

So, where does that leave us? What does Christ call us to do? Think about it. Pray about it. Let your heart break and then do something about it.