Friday, March 29, 2013

Lessons Learned as a PK

I was born and raised in the church. Born to missionary parents and then raised most of my life as a PK, I lived, breathed, bathed, ate, and slept church. I loved most of it, but there were also some pretty hard moments. Some of which included feeling like I needed to live to a higher standard and always feeling like someone was spying on me trying to see if I would fail at something I tried.

Looking back I think a lot of people just thought I was the naive little pastor's daughter, but in reality, I learned a lot by watching and observing people. When I saw someone get into trouble, I made a mental note that maybe I should not do that either. I always had a strong sense of what was right and what was wrong.

As I grew up and became an adult I began to notice how some things just didn't sit right with me. There were times when I didn't feel people were treated fairly and there were times when I thought things were dealt with  in an unjust way. This really bothered me because I thought the Church was supposed to be a place of forgiveness, acceptance, healing, restoration, love, mercy, etc.

Through my roller coaster ride of anger, bitterness, resentment, prayerfulness, repentance, forgiveness, and acceptance, I learned some things. I learned that people tend to judge others by their actions but they judge themselves by their intentions. I learned that God is God and I am not. I learned that when I am not looking to Jesus, I see the world through my own narrow lenses. I learned that there is no room for resentment and bitterness when I am truly walking with Jesus. I learned that the best way to overcome bitterness toward someone is to pray for them ... really truly pray for them. I learned that this world is not perfect, the Church is not perfect, and I am by far not perfect. I learned that I cannot control other people's actions, but I can control my own. I learned that the Church is made up of imperfect people trying to serve a perfect God.

I know I'm still in the process of learning and re-learning some of these lessons but I wanted to share these because I think they're important. It's hard to point the finger at someone else when you truly believe that Christ died for everyone including yourself.