Worshiping God in the Mundane

As a stay-at-home mom, I struggled with feeling like what I do doesn't matter. With constantly cleaning the house, folding the clothes, and doing the dishes, I let my mind go there; I would get down on myself and think of how tedious and boring my life was.

I read this book called: The Quotidian Mysteries by Kathleen Norris. One quote in particular really hit home for me:

"It is a paradox of human life, that in worship, as in human love, it is in the routine and the everyday that we find the possibilities for the greatest transformation. Both worship and housework often seem perfunctory. And both, by the grace of God, may be anything but. At its Latin root, perfunctory means "to get through with," and we can easily see how liturgy, laundry and what has traditionally been conceived as "women's work" can be done in that indifferent spirit. But the joke is on us: what we think we are only "getting through" has the power to change us, just as we have the power to transform what seems meaningless-the endless repetitions of a litany or the motions of vacuuming a floor. What we dread as mindless activity can free us, mind and heart, for the workings of the Holy Spirit, and repetitive motions are conducive to devotions..."

As I finished the book, I went back and looked over this quote and realized how true it is. If I see what I do everyday as a way to worship God, then my purpose in life is to worship God. What a GREAT mission and life-purpose! We are called to worship God in everything we say and do, so if I can praise God while I'm feeling stuck in the mundane, how many more areas of my life can I have that same attitude? If I can worship God when I'm alone and quiet or at church, I can definitely worship God while changing diapers and picking up dog poop. If I can worship God while I'm hiking in the wilderness or singing worship songs in my car, I can definitely worship God while I'm washing the 50th dish of the day or folding the 105th item of clothing. If I have an attitude of worship and my life-purpose is worshiping God, then everything I find myself doing can be bringing praise and glory to God if I let it.

Friends

Something that is truly important as a mom is to have a friend (or friends) you can laugh with, trust, and really lean on when you need help. Let’s be honest, every mom whose ever been a mom needs a break every now and then. Every mom needs someone they can call up and say, “Hey, I need some help.”

Being a mom can be very isolating and lonely, especially when you don’t have that friend you can call up and say, “Hey, I need a friend.” It can be a huge struggle for moms to get out on play dates, moms groups, Bible studies, etc…but I highly recommend doing something, even if it’s once a month. If you are not involved in a group, get on Facebook and see if anyone is interested. You’d be surprised at how many lonely moms there are out there that may not have the courage to reach out and start something!

I actually did this a few months ago. I was feeling lonely, uninvolved, and wanted a friend. I looked around for a MOPS group and the closest one to me had a waiting list, and the other two in town were closing down. MOPS is a great way to meet friends and be encouraged, this is why I wanted to join a group, but it didn’t help me to be on a waiting list. I didn’t want to get involved in a Bible Study, because I’m kind of anti-homework right now.

Don’t get me wrong, Bible Studies are great for some women! I just happen to be in a place in my life where it seems a bit overwhelming and cumbersome to me to have to read a chapter in a book and endlessly bounce around my Bible so I can fill in the blanks for the next week. Honestly, I’m not trying to knock Bible Studies, and I know I will probably get some heated feedback from die-hard Bible Study people. I’m more speaking to the moms out there who may find joining a Bible Study a little too much right now.

So, not because of my lack of trying, I decided to appeal to my Facebook friends. I figured (as I usually do) that if I was lonely, maybe there was another lonely mom out there who would join me in starting a play group. I posted something simple like: “Anyone out there want to join a new play date group? If so, what day of the week works best for you?”  Sure enough, three moms responded. Since we started, only one mom has joined me in our Tuesday morning play groups. It’s small, but, I have my friend! I accomplished my mission! Yay for social media!

Sanctus Real sings a song that talks about the need for friendship. We were created with a unique need for relationship. Yes, we most definitely need God, but we also need each other. Here are some of the lyrics to their song, “We Need Each Other”:

Oh, oh, we need each other so what’s the fighting for
Oh, oh, we need each other, please don’t close the door
Oh, oh, we need each other through all the highs and lows
Oh, oh, we need each other and I don't wanna be alone

I need you, you need me
'Cause that’s the way it’s meant to be
I need you, we need each other
I don’t want to be alone

So, if you are a mom and you are feeling isolated and lonely, and you are not already involved in a mom’s group, play group, or Bible Study, I highly encourage you to find one or start your own. We were created to be in relationship with one another, so step out of your comfort zone and make a friend!

Our Minds

We need to focus on where our minds are. Paul says in Colossians 3:1-2:

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

It’s hard to be down on yourself when you are praising God and setting your mind on things above. It’s very hard to be in a bad mood or snap at your children when you are thanking the Lord for the good things He’s done in your life. Try it sometime and see what happens. See how long you can continue being mad at the world when you are writing a list of things you are thankful for. This is actually something I have done with my oldest son. There have been times he has been very upset over something and his “punishment” has been to write a list of 50 things he’s thankful for. If he complains, I up it to 100, so he has learned very quickly to just quietly walk away and write the 50 things he’s thankful for. When he comes back with his list, he is much easier to talk to about his attitude, or whatever situation needs to be addressed.

When we intentionally set our minds on Christ, filling it with things that are good such as Bible verses, wholesome music, and books that are uplifting and encouraging, we begin to see a change in our attitudes and outlook on life. We begin to find ways to praise the Lord while we’re making dinner; we learn that we can pray for our children and husband as we do their laundry; we can thank the Lord for our children as we change dirty diapers; we can pray for our child’s future as we rock them at night and try to get them to go back to sleep.

You see, our mind is where everything starts. If we are able to focus our thoughts on good things and keep our thoughts there, our outlook on the day becomes much brighter.

One thing I’ve done to help keep my mind on things above, is I make sure I have worship music playing while I’m making dinner. This seems to drown out the excess noise and helps me focus my thoughts on the Lord. I’ve also left my Bible open to a certain passage on the counter (usually Psalms), so while I’m running around getting snacks and drinks for the kids during the day, I’m able to stop and look down for a minute, grab a verse and mull it over. I have heard of moms placing key Bible verses in common areas (the mirror in their bathroom, by the speedometer in their car, on their kitchen sink, on the fridge, on their computer screen) so they can keep their minds focused on the Lord. 

Praise the Lord

There's just something about being in a beautiful place that makes you stop and praise the Lord. When you know the One that made that place and who He made it for, it's all the more overwhelming. We were flying over the Caribbean the other other day and as I looked out my window at how absolutely beautiful everything was, I couldn't help but praise the Lord. It was such an awe-inspiring experience.

Now, as I look out the window of my hotel onto the Caribbean ocean, I am again awe inspired at the beauty of His creation. I am so thankful that my God is one who cares about the details, like what bird should have which call, or what fish should have what color, or what each leaf should look like.

Nothing goes unnoticed by our Maker. Even as I lie here with the flu on this trip I have been looking forward to for 10 years...I could complain...ok, yes, I have complained, but I'm realizing that that is not the point. Can I praise God even when things don't go my way? Can I praise God when I wish things turned out differently? Can I praise God even when the whole world seems to be crashing in all around me? YES! The good news, is YES, I can praise God. I can look around and thank Him for His awesome creation. I can hear the waves crashing onto the shore and praise the Lord, for He is good!

I can get stuck in my complaining mode, or I can choose to take my eyes off of myself and look out. Today I choose to look out and praise the Lord!

Supermom

There is a common misconception out there that a mom must be supermom. This often leads to feelings of frustration and guilt as one is trying to gain the supermom status. Sometimes this supermom expectation could be the idea that one must have the hour-long quiet time with the Lord she used to have in order to be the godly mom and wife she’s been called to be, but she is so up to her elbows in diapers, refereeing, and house duties, that hour of quiet with her Lord is quite impossible.

There are also supermom expectations that include: a spotless home, a healthy organic dinner being ready on time every evening, you must look good for your husband at all times or he will stray, and it’s your job as supermom to keep your family happy at all times. No wonder it can be overwhelming, isolating, and lonely being a mom! If I have to be the definition of supermom to be a good mom, I have failed miserably and God, help my kids!

If we allow supermom to define how we’re doing as a mom, something is going to fall through the cracks, and that usually ends up being our very own sanity! I have seen this happen too many times...to myself. I have gone many-a-days without a shower, throwing my hair up in a ponytail to hide the grease and tangles. I have gone many lunches without eating because I’m too busy getting my kids’ lunches together then cleaning up the kitchen and moving on to the next activity. I have had countless sleepless nights as babies and older kids learn to sleep through the night or get sick. I have eaten many cold dinners after the kids are done because I’ve been too busy trying to wrangle the kids during the meal to eat it when it’s hot. Taking care of our family is not a bad thing…it’s actually something we are called to do as wives and mothers. It’s when being “mom” replaces who we are in Christ, or when mom is only mom and nothing else. This is when a mom can easily burn out and not be the woman, wife, and mother God intends for her to be.

If you have been feeling guilty or frustrated because you can’t accomplish as much as you think Supermom Sally down the street can, stand up and say, “SUPERMOM DOES NOT EXIST!” Because, guess what? She doesn’t. There is no such thing as supermom. It is a figment of our imagination. It is something our society and/or our imaginations have made up to live up to something that is completely impossible. It is discouraging and unattainable.

Now that we know that supermom does not exist, we can begin to shred off the lies and misconceptions that come with the term “mom” and we can begin to walk in the truth and freedom that Christ brings. We can become the women, wives, and mothers that Christ has created us to be, and we can have more grace with ourselves when we feel we have messed up. 

Choosing Thankfulness

I'm writing this more for myself than anything, so bear with me.

I'm finding it very hard to be thankful when all I can focus on is the lack of money in the bank account, how freezing cold it is outside, and the lack of energy I'm feeling right now. It's funny, because this morning I kept complaining to the Lord about all my woes, and sure enough I open my Bible up to Psalm 147 and the first words I read are "Praise the Lord!". Not only does it say that in Psalm 147, but that is how Psalm 147, 148, 149 AND 150 all begin. Do I think the Lord might be trying to tell me something? Yes...but do I chose to listen? No.

It's hard to be thankful and praise the Lord when I set my mind on all the things that I see are wrong around me. When I focus on the negative, the world looks darker, more ominous, and it seems like everything is too big of a mountain for me to climb. I moan and groan; I complain; I'm not a very nice mom, wife, or friend; nothings gets done around the house; and I am just miserable. The last thing I want to do is sit down and praise the Lord.

Funny thing is though, it's the same the other way around. When I am choosing to be thankful and praise the Lord, the world looks brighter, those "mountains" look a bit more like rolling hills, I'm able to shift my focus off of myself and see the blessings around me. I'm a bit more joyful; a much nicer mom, wife and friend; things still may not get done around the house, but at least everyone is fed and happy.

I can see that even though there is no money in the bank account, there is food in the cupboards and refrigerator, we have heat in the house, and the kids are all healthy. I can look out my dinning room window at the amazing view of the mountains and be thankful. I can be thankful for the white snow that covers the ground, the animals we have, and that we just so happen to have a full tank of gas. I can be thankful for my amazing husband who is so patient with me and loves me through my weaknesses and failures. I can be thankful for my four amazing children who have taught me so much about the love of Christ. I can be thankful for the job my husband has and that he gets to come home this evening, the community we are a part of, and our wonderful church family. I can be thankful for the small things too, like hot coffee, Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer, and the two new Curious George movies that are on Netflix right now. 

Yes, I can choose to be thankful. I can set my heart and mind on things above (Colossians 3) and I can praise the Lord (Psalm 147, 148, 149 AND 150). Today I choose to be thankful.

Lessons Learned as a PK

I was born and raised in the church. Born to missionary parents and then raised most of my life as a PK, I lived, breathed, bathed, ate, and slept church. I loved most of it, but there were also some pretty hard moments. Some of which included feeling like I needed to live to a higher standard and always feeling like someone was spying on me trying to see if I would fail at something I tried.

Looking back I think a lot of people just thought I was the naive little pastor's daughter, but in reality, I learned a lot by watching and observing people. When I saw someone get into trouble, I made a mental note that maybe I should not do that either. I always had a strong sense of what was right and what was wrong.

As I grew up and became an adult I began to notice how some things just didn't sit right with me. There were times when I didn't feel people were treated fairly and there were times when I thought things were dealt with  in an unjust way. This really bothered me because I thought the Church was supposed to be a place of forgiveness, acceptance, healing, restoration, love, mercy, etc.

Through my roller coaster ride of anger, bitterness, resentment, prayerfulness, repentance, forgiveness, and acceptance, I learned some things. I learned that people tend to judge others by their actions but they judge themselves by their intentions. I learned that God is God and I am not. I learned that when I am not looking to Jesus, I see the world through my own narrow lenses. I learned that there is no room for resentment and bitterness when I am truly walking with Jesus. I learned that the best way to overcome bitterness toward someone is to pray for them ... really truly pray for them. I learned that this world is not perfect, the Church is not perfect, and I am by far not perfect. I learned that I cannot control other people's actions, but I can control my own. I learned that the Church is made up of imperfect people trying to serve a perfect God.

I know I'm still in the process of learning and re-learning some of these lessons but I wanted to share these because I think they're important. It's hard to point the finger at someone else when you truly believe that Christ died for everyone including yourself.