The Brave Face

I've never found it very easy to put on "the brave face" for my kids. Like when there's a storm and the cracks of thunder are deafening, it can be pretty scary. Last night we had one of those storms. The lightning completely lit up the sky and that thunder was unlike anything I had ever heard...welcome to Texas, right? The kids were spooked at the sounds so we let them try to sleep in our bed while we were still in the living room. All of a sudden after a massive thunder crack the power goes out. Ryan immediately jumps up and runs into our room to be with the kids, while I stumble around in the dark trying to find the flashlights.

I must say, it was a pretty awesome experience laying in our bed holding our kids and trying to calm them while the storm passed. It gave me a picture of how God is during our "storms". Sometimes I cry and scream at God when I can't hear Him, when that whole time, He's right there next to me.

My husband used to travel down to Southern California a lot for work. There were a few times we would pack up the family and drive the 8 hour drive south, so we could spend the week with him. It was on one of those trips that I decided I would take my three kids (I was pregnant with our fourth at the time) to the Aquarium in Long Beach by myself. Toward the end of the time there, the kids saw the bird exhibit and wanted to go into it. I thought that sounded like a fun idea, so I got Kaitlyn out of the stroller and bypassed where they were handing out the bird-food containers and went into the enclosed bird exhibit. All was going well until one bird decided he liked the smell of my hair and came and landed on my head. I really was trying to be brave...but obviously it didn't work. Reagan (my daughter who was 4 at the time), bursts into tears while I'm standing there holding the baby, helpless, while this bird pecks uncomfortably at my hair.

I feel eyes staring at me from everywhere! Finally, after what felt like FOREVER I hear a really sweet voice asking me if I want the bird on my head. I slowly turn around and see a really nice worker and manage to squeak out a "No, not really." Thankfully she was able to get the bird out of my hair and I must say...we did not stay in that birdcage a second longer. We left pretty quick after that...but man, talk about feeling like Mom Failure of the Year! I probably scarred my kids for life!

I got to thinking about that bird-story last night while we were lying in bed with the kids when it hit me. No matter how many time I find myself failing as a mom, I am so incredibly thankful that I have a God that loves me despite my failures.