Friday, September 30, 2011

The Brave Face

I've never found it very easy to put on "the brave face" for my kids. Like when there's a storm and the cracks of thunder are deafening, it can be pretty scary. Last night we had one of those storms. The lightning completely lit up the sky and that thunder was unlike anything I had ever heard...welcome to Texas, right? The kids were spooked at the sounds so we let them try to sleep in our bed while we were still in the living room. All of a sudden after a massive thunder crack the power goes out. Ryan immediately jumps up and runs into our room to be with the kids, while I stumble around in the dark trying to find the flashlights.

I must say, it was a pretty awesome experience laying in our bed holding our kids and trying to calm them while the storm passed. It gave me a picture of how God is during our "storms". Sometimes I cry and scream at God when I can't hear Him, when that whole time, He's right there next to me.

My husband used to travel down to Southern California a lot for work. There were a few times we would pack up the family and drive the 8 hour drive south, so we could spend the week with him. It was on one of those trips that I decided I would take my three kids (I was pregnant with our fourth at the time) to the Aquarium in Long Beach by myself. Toward the end of the time there, the kids saw the bird exhibit and wanted to go into it. I thought that sounded like a fun idea, so I got Kaitlyn out of the stroller and bypassed where they were handing out the bird-food containers and went into the enclosed bird exhibit. All was going well until one bird decided he liked the smell of my hair and came and landed on my head. I really was trying to be brave...but obviously it didn't work. Reagan (my daughter who was 4 at the time), bursts into tears while I'm standing there holding the baby, helpless, while this bird pecks uncomfortably at my hair.

I feel eyes staring at me from everywhere! Finally, after what felt like FOREVER I hear a really sweet voice asking me if I want the bird on my head. I slowly turn around and see a really nice worker and manage to squeak out a "No, not really." Thankfully she was able to get the bird out of my hair and I must say...we did not stay in that birdcage a second longer. We left pretty quick after that...but man, talk about feeling like Mom Failure of the Year! I probably scarred my kids for life!

I got to thinking about that bird-story last night while we were lying in bed with the kids when it hit me. No matter how many time I find myself failing as a mom, I am so incredibly thankful that I have a God that loves me despite my failures.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Cribs

Today just so happens to be one of the very few days that I have managed to pull off having both babies napping at the same time. I feel like I was so much better at that with my older two kids. Maybe I've just softened as a mom the more kids I've had....or maybe I'm just more used to having the noise, so it doesn't bother me as much if I don't get a break. Emphasis on the "as much".

Unfortunately, the amazing quietness has not lasted long though. I hear my youngest making noises up in his crib. But honestly, the amazing part about cribs is that they actually keep your babies in their bed! I was always so quick to try to get my toddlers into their "big kid" beds...I look back and wonder...why? What was the rush? Isn't it wonderful to know that once you hear them you have a couple of minutes to finish up what you were doing then go get them? Yes, I know some kids are able to crawl out of their cribs sooner than most, or they have a little brother or sister on the way, so you want to get the new baby room ready. I guess I'm just speaking in general about the rush we go through when we have our kids. It's always about what's the next step.

I remember when my first was born I was all about looking ahead. I couldn't wait until he fit into the bigger clothes, just so I could see what they looked like on him. I couldn't wait until he could hold his own bottle (I don't think that desire went away with any of my new-borns) or till he could sit up, crawl, stand up, walk, talk. Everything was "what's he going to do next"...so much so, that I really don't feel like I was able to enjoy much of the "what's going on now".

I know as parent's we all have regrets...that is probably always going to be one of my greatest regrets. I wish I had been able to slow down and enjoy the "now" more when we just had our one little baby. Life just picks up even more speed the more kids you have. I must admit though, even though I learned the hard way, I have tried to make it a point to enjoy the baby-years of my other three as much as I can. It can be very hard, but it's important. My oldest is 7 years old already....I'm really not sure where all that time has gone. He will be an adult sooner than I am ready for him to be, so I will try to enjoy these few and fleeting years as best as I can.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Don't Bet on It

This morning my husband and I got into a disagreement on whether his parents were going to come into town this Thursday or Friday. Ryan asked me if I wanted to bet on it. I, firmly believing that they were coming in on Thursday, said yes. But then we had to decide on what to bet on. Of course...since I knew I was right, threw out the idea that whoever was wrong got the night shift that night. And so it was agreed, whoever is wrong will get up with every child every time they wake up that night. I could just hear the angel singing in my head! One night of blissful, uninterrupted sleep!!!

Later that morning I was texting my mother-in-law and just happened to throw out the big question, "so, when do you guys get into town this week?" Her answer almost threw me off the couch. She said Friday. WHAT?!? Friday?!? Awe man! How could I be wrong?

So, at that point I decided I would just act as if nothing had happened. Completely ignore any conversation having to do with the what, when, or how they were coming into town this week. Maybe, just maybe he would forget.

As we were sitting around the dinner table, without even thinking about what I was saying, I throw out the, "Guess what we get to do Friday?" to the kids. After explaining to them that I was going to pick them up early from school and take them to go pick up Grami and Papa Willy, I hear my husband say, "and guess what I get to do tonight?"

I look at him with a questioning look as he smirks at me and says, "According to what your mom just said in confirming what I already knew, I get a whole night of uninterrupted sleep."

Ouch! There it was. Dang it! He caught me. Ugh. Lesson learned...don't bet on something with your husband...even if you're positive of the outcome. Not because you may be right, but because if you're wrong, he'll hold you to it!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Joyous Bedtime

I so wish bedtime would be a fun and relaxing time for the family. I have this picture perfect evening in my head:

After a wonderful dinner of no complaining, fighting, or teasing, the kids calmly and quietly head up to their rooms. They brush their teeth, get into their pj's, and get into their beds. I hear musical voices saying, "mother-dearest, will you please come and tuck me into bed. I'm tired and worn out and am so thankful for everything you do. I would like to give you a hug and a kiss and would like you to pray for me tonight."

I walk upstairs to three happy children (only 3, because the baby has been asleep for over a half hour of course) tucked snugly in their beds. I take a few minutes with each of them by rubbing their backs and praying for them. I kiss them good night and give them a hug and walk downstairs where my husband awaits on the couch with a smile on his face.

Now wouldn't that be a wonderful evening? I sigh just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, if you can think of the complete opposite of that wonderfully amazing scenario, that seems to be pretty typical of what the Denney bed-time routine is. Oh what a nightmare. I absolutely dread bed-time.

Someday I'll look back and laugh...to be honest with you, I laugh at myself a lot now. I'm pretty sure that is probably one of the ways I am able to survive motherhood...that and A LOT of praying!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Mom Hair

Have you ever heard of "mom" hair? I must say...I am the queen of "mom" hair. I'm always throwing my hair up into a pony-tail, whether I have time to wash it in the morning or not. I think it's a trade-mark of "the mom with young kids".

How on earth do moms have time to keep their fingernails and toenails so well manicured? Is something wrong with me? I let my fingernails grow until their length bothers me and then I cut them down to the nubbins. I do the same with my toenails. The rare times that I do get pedicures, I end up keeping that same toenail polish on until it wears off or my toenail grows out! I honestly have nothing against well-groomed moms, my question is how do you do it?

I noticed yesterday while people-watching at church how many well-groomed moms there were. I think that's when it hit me. While some women will spend time on themselves every morning, most women will spend a few extra minutes Sunday morning. Not because they feel they should look good at church, but because it's an excuse to take some extra time on themselves. It's not a bad thing, I just find it interesting...since I do the same thing. It's nice to know that there are other moms like me.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Yes, today I was "one of those moms"

This morning I woke up extra tired. I'm not sure why, maybe it was my 7-month-old (Liam) waking up at 3am, or because I stayed up past 10pm, or one can always blame the hormones, right? After sending the older two kids off to school and my husband off to work, I quickly got ready for the day. I decided that yes, I was going to brave Walmart with the two babies. Oh yeah.

On my way to Walmart, I realized that I left the list with the specific seeds my husband and I had decided we were going to plant this fall in our vegetable garden, at home. Oh well, both babies are in the car, we're half-way there, I'll just wing it. Haha!

We get to Walmart and I next realize that, oh boy, I have both babies. My 2-year-old (Kaitlyn) is way too young and crazy to walk next to me in the store, how am I going to do this? I don't have my baby carrier. Oh well...as moms we improvise, right? Sometimes it works...other times it sure as hell doesn't. Well, today was one of those mornings where it sure as hell didn't. I strapped Liam in the seat of the cart and sat Kaitlyn down in the basket of the cart and began our trek into Wally-world. Of course, Kaitlyn didn't want to sit for long. Nothing worked! Not even with me threatening to count to 3, trying to distract her with the awesome IPhone games, or trying to bribe her with a surprise. So, of course, I let her get out and walk.

Next thing I know, she's grabbing the hydrogen peroxide bottle off the shelf and putting it in the cart. As I'm putting that away, she's grabbing bandaids and rubbing alcohol to place in the cart. Next thing I know she's taking off down the isle. By this time, we've only been in Walmart for about 10 minutes. I have absolutely nothing from my list in the cart. It is NOT looking like it's going to be a very productive or long trip.

Of course, Walmart doesn't have any of the seeds I need. Yes, I will be the first to admit, my husband was correct when he told me I should try Lowes first. It isn't the first time, and no, it won't be the last. When will I ever learn?

I spend the rest of my hectic trip in Walmart with Kaitlyn half way out of the cart screaming and crying that she wants to get out, no she wants to get in, wait no...she wants to get out. I do manage to get the formula and the bag of grated cheese (yes, that is a god-send!) before making it to the checkout line and finally in the car.

Unfortunately I did get some glares, stares, and disapproving head shakes. What is up with old people and their ways of forgetting what it was like to have little ones running around? And seriously! What is UP with the young people who have NEVER had kids and their glares and stares? Wooowy! Are they in for a treat when they begin their own journey through parenthood! Fortunately I have gotten to the point in my short journey through motherhood where I just don't care anymore what other people think of how my kids behave. They may think I'm a terrible mom for allowing my child to run wild in the store, but I know without a doubt that they must have forgotten their "weak" moments as a parent. And to you who don't have kids yet...just you wait!

After getting in the car I decide (like any other insane mother after a crazy shopping trip), that hey! Kaitlyn is doing better, let's run by Starbucks and get her some more sugar (and of course me a pumpkin spiced late) and try going to Lowes! Hehehe. Sometimes I think God just stands up in heaven and shakes his head laughing at us.

We get to Lowes and I have a brilliant idea! I'm going to put both kids in the stroller this time! Yes! They will both be strapped in and all will be GREAT! Well, they were ok while in the store. It wasn't until we got to the car when all hell broke loose. Kaitlyn really wanted to unlock the car, but couldn't figure out how to put the key in the key-hole. She starts screaming and yelling again as I take the keys away and open the car. While I'm putting the now crying Liam in the car Kaitlyn takes off down across the parking lot toward the entrance to Lowes. I'm sure I was quite the sight chasing my 2-year-old down the parking lot! Oh well, I don't care, right? :)

We did make it home safely. I did manage to get most of the seeds we needed, but most importantly, we survived. I am "one of those moms" and yes, I love my kids.